Ecstasy, pleasure and joy; disappointment, betrayal and jealousy; communication, expectation, and dedication. These are all aspects of a monogamous relationship. However, when one chooses to open up one's relationship to other lovers, these dynamics can be squared in intensity. Wonderfully, the ancient practices of Tantra include all and invite everything to living this sacred life. For us, SkyDancing Tantra is the foundation and support of our own open relationship. It neither encourages nor discourages the open relationship model.

Says Jim: My open relationship with Lyona has been profoundly transformative. My most recent greatest challenge was competition. A friend joked that I got to face all my insecurities with Lyona's lover - big beautiful muscles, strong, lean and flexible, surely more interesting and attractive than me. I was confronted with all sorts of deeply ingrained beliefs about myself and old, deep-seated conditioning and fears. What carried me as an individual, and us as a couple through this challenging time was in no small part our SkyDancing practice - taking time, connecting through breath and gazing, creating sacred space, moving energy, being present, listening deeply, touching with awareness, and me taking responsibility for myself and healing old wounds.

Says Lyona: My experience of having an open relationship with Jim for over seven years is that it shines the spotlight on what is or is not working between us. It makes the strengths and problems inescapable. In past monogamous relationships it was easy to "settle", to give up and give in because I believed that "the other" was the problem. And because of that I couldn't get what I wanted from the "chosen one". In these relationships I would go numb or go into denial about my needs that were not getting met. Ultimately, enough resentment would build up and the relationship would end and it would be mostly "the other's" fault. :: READ MORE

SkyDancing Tantra & Relationship to Me, You and The Divine

Two people meet, and the chemistry and attraction make them quiver with delight - that's what romantic tales are made of! But the love bubble will change and shift and one's personal preferences, issues and baggage will surface with the realization of "What is this?" or maybe even "Who is this?" The roots of any relationship expand and grow with what is real and shared from our hearts and being in any given moment.

The deepening of our relationship is a spiritual journey and many of the tools Lokita and I use are from our SkyDancing Tantra practice. The first principle that supports all other practices in SkyDancing is 'presence'. Scientific research has revealed that we only experience real pleasure when our attention is entirely engaged on one thing; whether we are having a conversion, making love or meditating. Presence is pure energy and transforms whatever it comes in contact with.

Awareness, communication, and connecting with others and ourselves are founded on presence. This courageous journey into each moment gifts us the magic we all experience with the spark of new love. From lovers to mystics, from therapists to gardeners and everyone else, all the qualities we strives for in a relationship and life - for example compassion, strength, open heartedness  - will fall into place with the refinement of being present.